Shortly before midnight last night I received a group text from a friend. It was relaying some tragic news that one of our fellow workers had committed suicide over the weekend. He had recently encountered some challenges that caused him to lose his employment with our company. As the subsequent texts of shock and condolences came in from the 50+ recipients, I couldn’t help but ask myself the question, “What leads a person to a place of living with no hope to the point of taking their own life?”

We’ve all been touched by the trauma of suicide. A friend, a brother or sister, a child. Regardless of who it is, it always brings heartache and pain to those who are affected. Not only do loved ones have to wrestle through the grief of death, but they must come to terms with the uncertainties surrounding the suicide as well. It leaves in it’s wake many questions that will probably never find their answer. But one thing is certain, it leaves a lasting mark on everyone who knew the person.

I have been personally impacted by thoughts of suicide in my past. On two occasions I seriously considered it as a viable option to relieve the pain and difficulties I was facing at the time. Thankfully, the Lord intervened in a mighty way both times and spared my life along with my friends and family from the issues that would come from this.

Asking the why…

Whenever a death like this occurs we almost always ask the “why” question. As with most tragedies in life, the why question remains at the forefront of our minds. One that many of us as Christians ask is, “Why would God allow this to happen?” This question is the mystery of our lives. As with most untimely deaths, we may never understand the why, but we are assured through the Word of God and personal experience that God knows and is there to comfort the grieving heart.

What could I have done?

One of the most difficult questions to face as a friend or family member is, “Is there something I could have done to prevent this?” Feeling guilty over a suicide is more common than one may think. Playing scenarios over and again in your mind wondering if something you could have done may have changed the outcome. One thing we must eventually come to terms with is that God allows us to make choices and sometimes that choice leads to death. We cant do anything about it and it simply is not our fault.

Where is the hope?

As friends and family we need to try to hold onto the treasured memories. Come alongside those who are grieving and share the love of Christ with their hurting hearts and encourage one another to cling to Jesus during this challenging time. We ask the same question as Peter did, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life, and we have believed, and have come to know, that you are the Holy One of God” (John 6:68-69, ESV) After we struggle with all the questions, wrestle through the uncertainty, and untie all the knots that have entangled us, we realize that God is our only hope. The comfort and confidence we have in Him alone is the rock we hold onto.

Suicide is messy and sad. But in and through it there is hope for restoration in Christ alone. Hope for healing for the friends and family left behind, hope for restoration of loved ones, and hope that God will make all things good for His glory. In the struggle it is often difficult to see or understand, but God is the love, hope and peace we need and must rely on. No man or woman can give us the hope and peace we need to get through these kinds of challenges. It is simply God alone through our Savior Jesus Christ.

Blessings,
Keith